Never Take Yourself Too Seriously

About this time of year I start to hear all the "Santa jokes". Usually folks are whispering them under their breath so that I won't hear and be offended. Well... remember... I know if you have been naughty or nice. Do you really think I didn't hear that?! Really?

The good news is I think they're funny, so I want to share a few with you. I hope you get a good laugh out of it.

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?

Because it soots him.

Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?

At a Ho-ho-tel!

What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santy on his birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $100 bill. Which one picked it up?

Santa! The other two don't exist!


Why does Santa like to work in his garden?

Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!


What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning?

Crisp Kringle!


What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?

A rebel without a Claus!


What does Santa use when he goes fishing?

His north pole!


What's red & white and red & white and red & white?

Santa rolling down a hill!


What's red and green and flies?

An airsick Santa Claus!


What is red and white and black all over?

Santa Claus covered in ashes.


What does Santa get if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobic!


Why won't Santa eat Twinkies?

He would rather eat Ho-Hos.